What’s Your Compliment Rating?
Whether in our personal lives or our working ones, all human beings respond to positive feedback. It’s great for nurturing love and romance in your world, and productivity and team unity at work. But, like many things in this world, it takes two to tango! Compliments are only life-enriching when they are:
Offered with truth and sincerity
Accepted with belief and respect
So, when did you last give someone a compliment? If it was:
In the last 4 hours = then give yourself a 4 (out of 5)
In the last 24 hours = 3
In the last week = 2
In the last month = 1
To someone you love = give yourself an extra point!
Compliments can be one of the most affirming forms of human communication we receive – if we let them.
Let’s see how you handled the last compliment you received?
Smiled and said thank you = give yourself a 4.
Mentally said “You don’t know how wrong you are” = 3
Argued and disagreed vocally and energetically = 2
Ignored it = 1
Were still secretly proud = give yourself an extra point.
In either of these tests, if you scored
4-5 – KEEP up the good work and don’t falter!
3 – Going well, but a little more effort will help a lot.
1-2 – Come on! Your friends and colleagues DESERVE better, and you need some serious practice!
Compliments are gifts of affirmation, respect, and sometimes love. For the gift-giver to be fulfilled (and do it again), it needs to be allowed IN. The secret is that we have to LET IT get under our self-protective armour, and hit the heart.
It’s a bit like the old Colgate ads with Mrs Marsh and the chalk dipped in blue. “Oooh, it does get in.”
Compliments are a responsibility for all of us. They’re also infectious and a habit that can be learned!!
So, how much do you want to improve your love life or increase the productivity and morale of your colleagues??
Then GET GOING!!!
12 Tips to Improve Your Compliment Rating
1. Start by listening (as opposed to hearing), when someone compliments you. Your attention will be pleasing to the giver. You’ll also get some clues into this skill you’re developing.
2. When someone compliments you, no matter how much you might disagree, just smile and say “thank you”. Debating is insulting!
3. After receiving a compliment, allow yourself to feel the gift of appreciation and be proud of yourself, just for a moment
4. Ask someone, perhaps a wife/husband/personal coach to help you by regularly complimenting you, and challenging you to listen, say thanks, feel proud, and reciprocate.
5. If you start debating a compliment, stop, even in mid-sentence, and say thanks. You won’t look foolish, you’ll look human and appreciative!
6. Practice a simple compliment like “you look nice today” when greeting your partner.
7. Don’t make up a compliment out of duty. Wait for a real opportunity and be sincere .
8. If you’re an employer or manager, practice taking notice of what staff do and compliment their efforts. Compliments inspire humans to stretch themselves, and that’s good for both of you.
9. Try to offer at least one compliment to someone every day! Accept that it will feel uncomfortable and unfamiliar at first. But soon, not doing it will feel uncomfortable.
10. Identify the most important people in your life, and make sure that you concentrate your compliments on them. Then expand the circle by one person a week!
11. Practice, Practice, Practice
12. After practicing for a month, spend a few minutes noticing the improved morale amongst your loved ones and/or colleagues. Enjoy it!
© Chris Owen, Pink Apple Connections
Guest Author Chris Owen of Pink Apple Connections is a Melbourne-based Life Coach, nurturing individual and business relationships.
She helps people find more fun and harmony in their relationship and return it to the adventure it once was.